Jesus loves all of us...

…Its may be full of words. But please have the patients to read on…

We always here this. Follow the rules. But the main point of rules is to make sure we don't fall into the bad side. Sometimes, we need to break the rules in order to know ourselves.

Everyone has the key within themselves. Give more and more encouragements and comlpiments as the

days passes. To your family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, wife, husband, children, anyone that you

know to see one’s virtue. Is it that difficult? Everyone needs encouragements. But why do we often

hesitate to shower compliments? In every child or grownup, there’s an angel and a devil. Seek out the

angel and the best qualities will surface. There’s much truth in the saying, “Resources used wrongly will

become wasted.” … “Waste used correctly can become resources.” Appreciation is a powerful force.

Sometimes we can be down to the point our lives are no longer worthful. I know for I’ve gone through it

before. It was heart breaking to the point that I wanted to put my life down for no cause for I’ve partially

lost half of it. It was hell but a small part of my heart kept me standing. So I carried on with life

bitterfully and miserabally. Crying everyday till my eyes were almost bleeding. I jz hope I could turn back

time and undo things. But that will never happen. I will not note what I’ve gone through for I want

and hope to let it go. But always remember, when there is no one to be there sharing or listening or

comforting you, turn to Jesus. He was always right beside you every step of your journey called life.

The story of the footprints. When times were fine and well, Jesus walked beside us and there were 2 pairs of footprints. There came trials and problems. Heartache and tears role down your cheeks every moment of time. But there was only one pair of footprint. But we complained that Jesus left us alone to suffer and die. Then Jesus said. I wasn’t away from you. But I was carrying you in my beloved arms. I carried your pain and guided you through.

Its ok if you are not a christian when you read this blog. But I want you to know,Jesus loves you and even gave His very own life to cleanse all your sins…

leading a life with God by my side

Years back,dated around the year 2004, my life was at the dawn of disaster...i started to move out from the umbrella of my Father n lead a life that was not pleasing to him...blinded by the things of the world and honestly speaking I was definitely a rebel...everyday I was at the battle ground with my mom and vulgar words just filled my vocabulary...i quited youth church and my life was at the brim of hell...many times God reached out to me but I pushed Him aside...life was miserable and I thought,"Hey, I will be ok."....suicidal thoughts flooded my mind...one day when I laid the knife before me, I just couldnt do it...I broke down and cried...things happened but d person I thought I could turn to juz landed itself at d cyber cafe with friends....I cried and then I realised that God was always with me and He will never fail me...

When I was awaked and came to realisation, a year since then has flown past....months towards PMR was drawing near...I knelt down on my knees and cried....begged for forgiveness...God even told me that when I was in the storm, He was with me and whatever happened has purposes...one of them is to bring me back to my senses...letters and gifts from "it" was thrown out and I was determined to lead a life with God always as my guide....when I went back to youth church,people tend to look at me with prejudice...gossips spread like wildfire...those times were rough...I acted tough on d outside but behind locked doors I wept....Pris was d the one who made me return to youth church...I still remember that I took her to the PCC Open Day and she dragged me to go with her...n when my honey saw me that day,he couldn't recognise me...*hmm*(that time we wont together yet)..that year God really blessed me...I got top 5 in class for the entire year and not to mention my PMR results were great...

As days passed, I asked God whether any man of God will love and accept me juz as I am even accept me for the past mistakes that i have done....in my heart, I was ready to be single for the rest of my life but deep inside I still want to get settled down in life....it was 15.12.2005....Me and dear was busy sewing sequins onto Christmas costumes for others...we watched nanny together and at the same time texted til dawn....our conversation started to lead to prom n he said his school can bring date to prom....I replied so who are you going to bring then....the text that came back read as this..."the person I bring will be d person I loved...and I am gonna bring you.."...I was stunned...when I recovered my senses...I hesitated whether to let him know the truth...I told him I had a past,really dark one...but he declared that he will still love me...that was how we got together....actually we reconciled after nearly 4 years...

Since then, my honey has been a great blessing to me...he is like an angel that God sent from above...a promise that God fulfilled in my life....he showed me what love in 1Corinthians 13 means....love s always kind, patience....when the past haunts me, he holds my hand and prays for me....when I am sick, he calls and prays over the phone...one time, he even bought me yummy porridge and fed me in bed....when i am frustrated and show tantrums, he will tell me that he is there and everything is going to be fine...he even do all he can to cheer me up...when no one appreciates me, he will find a way to show appreciation...when people bully me, he stands up for me...when I cry, he lends me a shoulder and sometimes cry with me....what on earth can replace him?...I really thank God for him and everyday I treasure this gift given from on high...and knowing that God is a merciful,loving,faithful God....and He is always awesome...and I am more than willing to lay down my life for Him...I will always put Him first and love Him above all else...God is the best!!!

**PS.Honey, I love you and thanks so much k?...

~esther~

so called 'break'

I am having my so called 'break' these 2 weeks & it is not even a break from anything!!!!!first of all, I am stuck ed with 10 assignments.....4 law assignments & 5 history assignments...actually I have 5 history assignments is partially my fault...if only I finished one of it before the holidays and passed it up....hehex....thx to Siraj who said we need more practice so that we will be prepared for exams....now I m drowning with his long assignments that require at least 3 pages each....so great!....my dad cant find anyone to work at his company as the 'documentation & customer service personnel'...so I am stuck now at his office....with lack of sleep & deprivation of food....not to mention that the so called 'executive' here is so bossy & not to mention. R-U-D-E...if only I have the power to fire him,I would....den I have to answer calls which 90% of those on the lines seem to be having that PMS everyday...both men & women...they are so so so rude & demanding....they want the documents. they want it NOW even though they just sent the amendments...real weirdo....when they do mistakes, they never admit that it is their fault but point at ME!!!!it is ridiculous....cant they like have some common sense or something?....frustration upon frustration.....every morning I have to wake Joseph Lau up & waking him up can drive ur blood level up in the morning....u blow his phone up by calling infinity times but he says he cant hear it....*sigh*...last time the maid used to wake him & every time he ant wake up.....but when I wake him.....hmmmmm.....dunno wat to say.....

**ps: dear when u read this dun u dare say that u wont sleep 4eva k?...I ll persona;;y assassinate u

*esther*

memoirs....

yesterday, me & dear went to CGL for the food fair....kinda disappointing la....we went quite late d cos he had to play for hunza services so we rushed there during the break of 3rd service.....met a few teachers....my personal favourite, Ms Ong....me & Pris used to talk so much in her class...we even planned our sweet 16 party during her add maths & maths lesson...she was an awesome teacher....met Pn Cheah....me & Pris barely did her add maths & maths homework in f5....hehex;)...Ms Ang, the strict discipline teacher who also retired last year & chaos broke lose in school...Pn Ivy....my favourite BM teacher....she s always sweet & cool....mom crazy wan...bought rm5o worth of tickets & made me buy things for her...not much things to buy there also...1st time CGL allowed boys to attend our school's food fair...last time my time, if u bring a boy....u dig ur grave...n school had weird signboards that say,"Tolong Senyap" and some reminder bout pas keluar...nvr once i went out with a pas keluar...last year, i even ponteng class n lepak in computer room to do editorial board crap...

after the food fair,we rushed back to church in case dear had to play during altar call...but den, Pastor Marcus announced that a new format will be introduced...no more personal altar calls in Hunza service....we were like..."What!!!!???!!!"...we came back for nothing...we ate lunch at the reception...2 kids came with hamsters...their new pets....so cute....my parents came & picked us to Gurney....mom got silly facial appointment....so dad took me,dear and 3 monkeys to watch Rush Hour3...the show was superb....joel spilled the pop corn n dad made him ate from his pants...was so funny...

~esther~

KGN (blue) out of business...

As you all know, RAPID is taking over the bus public transportation here in Penang. Before supporting the new new new bus company, decided to hike up the old old old ones. Strait go in, FULAMAK !. not even a house fly of mosquito. Hahaz...

KGN (the blue colour wan) Weld - Balik Pulau



























































They still dont learn a thing. Got new competitor d and never do anything to compete... Stupid idiots. Really... I get some Rapid ones soon



*Joseph*

Hair make over...

First things first. At last, i gave the permissionto Dear to get her hair highlighted. So happy man her that day. Like jz came out of jail after much miserable time... Here are some snap shots of the process and results. Pro photographer - Me. Hehex




















Results...Amen
Front...



Back...


So, nice ma hor. Me le, got hair cut also la. Think jz sit there meh. Mine now can spike... Hehex. Didnt know look nice on my own Dear... Worth it

*Joseph*

Jz for your Father'sss...

Well well well. Fatherz. What can you think about them?... Down here, its a little "ciao"'s father's marvelous mind of wisdom



ONE.


























TWO..


























THREE...


























FOUR....


















Hahaz. Some crappy card for your father that Esther found in Memory Lane... How wisdomly
*Joseph*

plans for the future...;)

today kinda no mood...shit...juz remembered bout Siraj's assignment that is due tmr...*sigh*...tonite summore got meeting..i ll juz hand it in after my 2 weeks break...plans for the future...yesterday Siraj was telling us the difference if we do the 2+1 programme by Northumbia....then the thought strucked me...wat programme am I gonna do...3+0 or 2+1?...dad did asked me before if I wanna go to London and study....1st thought...den my honey here how ar?....2nd thought....I can shop til I drop...got LV, Prada....hmmmm..:0...I mite get to meet Prince William(muz stay loyal....so cant be with him)...but the words that came out of my mouth was,"Dad, I dont wanna go...."....typical dad will go on and on bout if I go, I mite pass my CLP easier...yadda..but when get new house we cant spend so much d....bla bla bla....I didnt have the heart to leave my honey behind n my lil cute bear---Joel...recently the news bout ppl tampering with the CLP results strucked me....I dun wanna fail for no reason or become an unqualified lawyer thru bribe so I can pass y CLP....so I called my honey....i told him if he wanna go UK...we used to plan that we go Australia together..but plans back fired when I did law...Dear said it s a good idea since in Malaysia there is not much of a bright future...n in UK, he can work in the line he likes most....cars....modifying them n all..which is illegal here....if we go...I ll go after I complete my 3+0 programme here...programme given by the University of London...but when we go, I dun think we will be coming back here except for holidays...UK?....my new home?....i am so confused...well...I shall leave it to God....

*p.s. today is a bad day.thx to the nasi kandar...i got food poisoning....**

~confused esther~

why?!!!

ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!these days I am living in a world of my own n it is driving me insane....why life has to be so complicated?....lecturer will stand there going on n on bout assignments n the upcoming exams and my minds wonder to the zones that I aint suppose to(not explicit zone)...I am so not prepared n with tiredness, time constraint.....it s juz driving me nuts....wont be surprised if turn out to be a Rasputin....(nabila, if u read this u noe wat i mean)....my mind juz wonders n funny doubts ll envelope me....juz so frustrating....sometimes I even have d thought that my honey hates me n will leave me....n with the maid who hates me n always giving looks....am i being paranoid or wat?....it seems like everyone s treating me differently....when I turn to someone to talk to....all that person says is I will assassinate them n all....sometimes I feel like muz y I shut up....keep all inside me....life?....wats life when life seems so complicating?...ppl fail u even the one u love n trust most....I have God....but i want someone or something to comfort me....to pat o rub its head on me nlet me noe that it s there....conclusion : i am gonna smuggle a dog home...whether my parents like it or not....

~insanity driven-esther~

Why is it we don't see these pictures in the paper or on TV?

Compassion is everywhere if you dare to love... Cute little kitty likes it...











Think about it. Going for war. Which takes like days, weeks, months or even years. Not seeing your wife, kids, friends...











Children brings joy to everyone. Including you and me. Stop and prevent unnessary war from happening. Their lives are precious and haven't seen the world...












Every man of war has a soft spot. Even though weapons mass destruction can't stand in the ways of love and joy...














Little young chap. Has potential to be a great man of GOD...











Young girl that could have lost her parents. But was taken comfort by a soldier. God does the very same thing. When we are hurt or discouraged, He is there lifting us up in His arms and shoulders...














Prayer. Everything starts from small or scratch. Like these few men. They pray no matter what they do as their lives and be lost the very next minute. We here living luxuriosly and take God for granted. Thats not the way...










Appreciation. Its one of the most important thing in live. Little do ppl do for us. But a simple thank you to them makes a life time memory...











Same here. Though all these pictures were not published in the media (most properbly never), but the president of the US will sure take notice...












Studies. Materials needed is vital. Kids receiving school utensils for class and personal studies... Look at how joyful they are...



So always keep this in mind. Our lives are worthless if there wasn't GOD. We would be meaningless... But God sent his only son, JESUS to save us from the pits of hell and give us eternal life... Lets appreciate and honour Him...

*Joseph*

Toilets. A.K.A, jamban...

When you are having your toilet breaks, think and look around... It's inspirational



Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and
walls..........
A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in
toilets.

I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different
purpose...

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement
space.......

(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire
Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.

We aim to please!
You aim too! Please

On the inside of a toilet door:

Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the
entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:

The hands that clean these toilets also make your
food...please aim properly.




*Joseph*

Parents !. Think you all very smart ah...

Parents Parents Parents... Always think they are in the right at all times. Tell you all what,

bullshit. Times when our truth are told, they take no shit but to say, dont simply say or, dont

talk nonsense. And by the way, we as your children are humans. Not dogs you can bug around.

Piss you all k. Holding a high post at work doesnt mean that you all can order us around like

machines. We aint crap of some shit on the side roads that you picked up. Ask you all nicely, say

no. We patient. Ask a little later, don't disturb la, we busy. Hey, and those things we ask are not

things that are impossible to be done or anything k. We voice out, " hor lu lang kan". I mean,

what on earth is this?. Everytime say be kind, polite, joyful, happy, have manners, bla bla bla.

But do you all carry out what you all say to us children?. No right?. So dont come kannasai with

us. I'm not gonna scold bad words here. No point. You fools never understand us. Think you do

you do. Please la. Dont even know how to communicate properly with us. What we want as

children is understanding than scolding. Love than condamns. Time and not money. Buy us

material things and expect us to be good and humble dogs?. Over my dead body. And when time

goes bad on us side, tell them. Thats what they always tells us to do. When we do, they say

about how stupid we are. How idiotic, shit n etc. They get frustrated and give us a hell lots of

"hentaming". Bible say honour your father n mother. Think so easy?. Say we youths degrading.

How about you parents?. Look at yourselves before you say us. This is a statement.




Some things they not ask, but force us to do. And guess what, for the rest of our lives, there

is that wound that can never heal for eternity. Yes, Jesus heals. But there will be a scar. I have

my own experienced. Till now, that rage, anger and frustration is still in me. Thought everything

said by them is the truth. But i found out that i was bluffed and lied onto. Forgiveness?. Is too

much of a word in my life. Hey you parents. Simple. Dont want support or whatever, leave us

along and step away. You don't give chances at time or always. Thats why we rebel... So think

about it...


p.s. - I dont give a damn if i piss anyone off




*Joseph from the heart*... At the crappy moment, this is all i wanna say. If there is any other shit to add in, i'll do so...

Shrek 3. Long long time d...

Its quite some time d. But can still blog ma. Its the 3rd-4th day after the premier. But nice show. Siao siao. Should watch if you haven't... Some random pictures taken during the day of watching...













Cute cat, stupid donkey, not pretty princess and fat ridiculous Shrek...





















Hehex. Nothing much to say here...




















Original pictures of Dear and Shrek...




















Dear kena paksa follow Shrek's face expression... Bad me





















Dear look so cute here. When entering the cinema...





*Joseph*

kita haruslah menegakkan keadilan untuk diri sendiri

Dalam hidup ini, kita sering ditindas oleh sekalian yang berada di sekeliling kita....kadang kala kita tidak berani untuk meluahkan rasa tidak puas hati yang termendap dalam hati kita.....dengan itu, mereka yang menindas kita akan mengambil peluang ini untuk melebih-lebihkan kepedihan yang terlindung.....jika anda tidak menegakkan keadilan untuk diri sendiri, siapakah yang akan buat demikian?.....ayah saya masih nampak marah dengan saya.....sejak kecil lagi saya telah diajar untuk berdikari dan tidak mengharapkan sesiapa untuk membuat apa-apa untuk saya....memang tidak boleh dinafikan bahawa dalam kehidupan saya, beberapa keputusan yang salah dan telah menyakitikan hati orang tersayang saya.....namun begitu, saya selalunya terpaksa berdikari dan mempercayai naluri sendiri serta mendengar suara Yang Maha Mulia......sering kali saya akan fikir.....jika ibu bapa saya sudah mengajar dan menyemai bijih benih-"berdikari" dalam kehidupan saya yang telah menjadi kebiasaan saya....kenapa tidak boleh menyokong saya sepenuhnya?....saya sudah penat dengan keperluan untuk saya cuba menawan hati ibu bapa saya....mahupun mendapat keputusan yang baik dalam peperiksaan atau dipuji oileh orang lain.....dalam dua keadaan sahaja ibu bapa saya selalu akan memberi tumpuan yang sepenuhnya kepada saya....yang pertama ialah saya mendapat perhatian secara positif iaitu berjaya dalam kehidupan...manakala yang kedua ialah mencari pasal.....saya sudah penat dan ingin menghentikan semua itu.....bukan senang untuk hidup dalam keluarga yang mempunyai begitu banyak adik-beradik.....terutamaya jika anda anak sulung....ibu bapa akan mempunyai harapan yang tidak munasabah terhadap anda....mereka mempunyai tanggapan bahawa barangan fizikal boleh menabat hati kita tetapi dalam hakikatnya, ini bukanlah caranya....hendak meluahkan hati kepada mereka selalu kata, 'tiada masa', 'saya sangat sibuk', ' hmmm...hmmm....(tetapi tidak memberi sepenuh perhatian kepada apa yang saya sedang cakap)....'......saya sudah putus asa....

***kehidupan memang susah....esther~~~

sometimes we juz have to defend our rights...

Today has been a hard day....my dad's staff has resigned...n I have to fill in temp....as I mentioned before,the old man in the office is a pain....guess wat?....he said the Port Klang office is bugging for a document called freight manifest....fine la...I do....but when I open the file, it has no column to put in the charges details.....so I made my own la....cos that is the format I have in the comp....mana tau....i sent d,d old man said i buat salah...tak apa la...i do again....dad wasnt in so urgent ma i do first lor....send twice,den real shit....a man called Alam(alam@hrcmy.com) sent emails kept on pushing....d list of charges they gave didn't charge DTHC(destination terminal handlig charges) but now he wants to charge....do again....den d format d old apek install for me....damn cacat...dunno wat shit programme they gave...i tot cut n paste can work but all the figures ran....so i kena tut like hell....

E-mails from Alam...

I’m really concern, how 3rd revised manifest looks like that. FULL OF WRONG ALL INOFO.
How a 40’cntr can load 75 m3. This reflected in attached manifest.
How a 40’ cntr can load wt. 43,440 kgs, which reflected in attached manifest.
If such load I am sure cntr will be retained on board for send back to PEN.
From where you find 40’ DTHC usd 50, which you hv collected from S/.
DTHC has been adv to collect USD 75.00/40’gp
RIC- Dear CH Lim/ Vivian, Please hv a look in to it, before situation going to worse.
Regards
Alam

....from alam to pkg n all....vivian is the boss and I knew her since I was a kid....

*he was like mocking me.....hey...i kept my cool den.....dad n d apek were 'singing' bout how much they dislike him and bla bla bla....p.s. heard that he has a bad name in the market....hmmm...


Dear Alan,
You should look at the 3rd revised manifest sent from your office, which is very interesting.

(from Alam to my dad)
***to me,in other words he is insulting my dad.....give no face d....


Dear Alam.....

Very interesting indeed...if only your system works simpler....I already amended all the "interesting facts'...note that no one is perfect and so are you ...FYI, I am just lending a helping hand and not a staff....


*ps....sry for the interesting manifest I have done....

Best Regards,
Esther

***i sent that to him and when my dad saw it....he got mad at me.....sometimes I think my dad is like a tortoise...so afraid....to me, we should stand firm and fight for our rights....if the petit bourgeoisie didnt stand for their rights,there wont be french revolution....if the peasants of France, didnt stand for the rights, there wont be Napoleon....if we,Malaysian didnt stand for our rights,we wont be what we are today....

today is just an awful day....i cried....dad scolded me and all.....just hate life....:(

---sinking: esther---

My very own hair CUT CUT CUT...

Lets start off. Today at1330 hours, i got my home grown hair stylist, My Dear, who want to give a wonderful hair cut..So, i took up the offer... These are the results...
















First of all. Thats my frinch. I also didnt notice. You know how long ah?. Pass my eyes and to my nose there. No wonder always so hot and poke my eye... hahaz
















Next. Ok fine. Laugh all you want. Its a little stupid i know. The smile i mean. Short d le...
















Drop those fingers. Like little kid. Thats the back. Cool and sweet...

















And hows this???. From nerd nerd nerd and then, *bOOm* baby. Well, okie?. If you wanna vote for this hair style option, please leave a comment and tell me your votes...















My marvelous hair stylist at work. Dont pray play ah. Customer stand then still cut wan you know. Think extreme very chun ah !?. My HStylist "Si Pek Chun"...

















Here is professional n customer having a tea break. Workmanship *keng* ah...
















Be affraid. Esther is here to cut hair !!!... Head hair you idiot !?... hahaz. jkjk...




*Joseph*

Here r some computer addict people

Ok. Well, it maybe stupid or whatever, but these are real photos...








This is crap. Waste money and time do decoration...










Look carefully. Its not a monitor. Its an oven!. Smart ass...










Obviously, this man is getting boring on his job...










A prototype of a portable computer. How about power?. Get it from the lamp-post. Easy...










Thank God my aunt does not have a computer. With the amount of cigarettes she smokes a day, the keyboard well be gone...










What a lazy bum bum. Like that also can ah !!!...










Now, this is nuts. Do you all know how much is it to own one of this baby?. I also dunno. hahaz...










Back ground. It KILLS!. take a guess, how many bottles are there?. n how long will the person live?...










On budjet for a fancy notebook?. This should be in your consideration...










Well well well. Thinking your pirated dvd stalls are amazing?. See this. Real mass production...



So, are you a computer addict?...