:(

i dunno when my honey will ever blog again....today we went to Gurney and our laptop and camera got stolen....inside the bag, there was hard drives which contained sweet memories of us...they are all gone....the Bible i bought for dear for his bday is also gone....oh Lord, why us?...we really can't afford another laptop....just to get around o settle the report, my bank account is nearly zero.....i didnt dare to cry much in front of dear cos i know he is trying to hide his pain....he is trying not to cry...everything s gone but we are save....we have God and each other....how far the test will go and i am already falling apart....many things had happened and at times i took my dear for granted....i want to turn back time...redo my life story....but can i?....now, i am alone in my room....dear s on the way home and i just wonder, it is my fault?....i was the one who said go gurney....why?....people are blaming me for everything....am i so blameworthy?....

-esther-

About Me...

For those who know me long enough, i may not be the one like you know in your heart. Since small, i've been bullied and things changed since then. I took the wrong side of life. Was soon a violent young man, full of rage, stealer n so on. Was involved in gangsterism also. Beating up ppl in school. Going against teachers, penolong kanan's, almost beating up a counselling teacher and stuff. Sir Tatt was one of them. I'm here to say sorry to him. I know you did something bad to me but it wasn't the right way to get even. Most importantly is sorry Dear. Sorry for all the stupid things done by me. And thank you so much for advicing me in every matter that i may do the wrong thing. She is my ANGEL. Recently, i got myself into some bad shit. But all started since i was small n it grew into a big time problem. Habits are meant to be dealt early and not dragged long in life. I may not state my problem but everyone has their personal things. I just wanna say, deal with it now and never pull it anymore. Sorry Lord n please forgive me...

*Joseph*

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life is never fair....i m so confused and down now that I wished that I didn't exist....if I could die in the battle field instead of a brave American soldier, I would take his place....I don't even mind being the little girl who is missing....life?....what is it now?...just another breathe?another minute?or something that never display justice?What is the point of studying the justice system when it was meant to be no justice?...Esther had just officially died....

my early Valentine's gift

my honey can be said to be sweetest in my life...he bought me my pre-Valentine's day gift...here is a picture of it...but not very clear though cos my phone camera knida cacat...

it has been a long time

just as the title stated....i haven't been blogging for a very long time...tonnes of college work and studying began to pile up as i returned to college...tomorrow will be the dateline for my moral project...fyi, my moral teacher is not very nice but i really pity her because people in my class are bullying her...what to do?....she brought in upon herself....new year has come and it s nearly half a month gone...one of my main goal this year is to ignore those remarks people make about me that are not going to build me but break me...the Bible said that the tongue is like a double edged sword...some people just abuse their tongues...both Christians and non-christians also do that...at the end of the day, if that person take his r her words seriously, there forms a scar in that individual's heart...therefore,now anyone can say I am bossy, an unholy cow, snobbish, fat or anything...I DON'T CARE!sometimes college can be rough...some of my friends can verify this...that day I was called to stay back by Mrs Hatia with my 3 other friends and she confronted us in front of the whole class....i was angry at first, not at Mrs Hatia but at someone who shot an intimating glance as well as a 'I'm so much better than you, you are a loser' kind of look...at the end, I find Mrs Hatia nice though i was prejudiced against her...like the novel Persuasion, Sir Walter was prejudiced against the navy officers....i just love Jane Austen...hehex...that's all for now...got to do research for history...anyway I want to thank a few people here...first of all, my darling for being so wonderful in every way...and i want to thank Denise and Jimmy for the good time we had on Dear's birthday...

Suprised Darling...

Well, my birthday wish actually came true lo. Kin le. (",) In my family,or like every family, you want things, mz go through female headMASTER. My birthday wish for 2008 is that mom will allow Dear to follow us to Ipoh for chinese new year. Yesterday night, got a hold of my balls and went for it. "Mom, this year can Esther follow us to Ipoh for chinese new year?". Guess what. Kannasai. Can wor. What happened to her ah?. Dun care lah. Can means can. Hehex. So today like i beat around the bush. Test test bear bear. So we eating lo. Then i ask will your parents let you go la, this n that. When she put the mee goreng into her mouth, said me, mom actually let you go already. Walaoeh. Mana chai she got chocked. Careful ah. Dun play play... So. I'm still cunning... Yay!. Pretty leng lui can go Ipoh liow. Happy bo Honey?... Hehex...

*Joezzz*

About my Birthday celebration...

Well, this year is like my first year celebrating my birthday willingly. Or can say, first birthday to be celebrated. So, what can i say?. Morning and afternoon nothing much lo. Fetched Dear to college for class. Then around evening, head on to QBay. While waiting for fatty Jim n slim Denise, went to Borders to have a seat and a drink. Before that, Dear very naughty lo. Got lie also. Bad bad !?... Hehe. But ok la. Forgiven. Told me to go dunno what floor toilet to wait for her. Manachai, actually go buy my birthday present. How stupid can i be?. Oh my. Then call came, say wrong floor. Go back to Borders. Give me the smile some more. Haikzzz. But i appreciate it. Thanks for the little cute bear n birthday card. Wonderful taste. Hehex. Waited for the guest for quite some time. But no problem. Our close friends. So Dear n me went for a walk. She said she booked Old Town. Ok lo. But i was up for a shock. Waited in front of TGI. Still the stupid me, cannot even guess the trick. Came Denise n Jim. Strait got pulled into TGi. Actually planned d. Wow. Yay yay !!!. Quickly got seated. Tell you. Kannasai. Jim order like a snail. And not only that. cannot make up his mind wan. Apala !. lolx. And little slim Denise, can think what she wanna fast, but can eat a lot also n cannot get fat!?. Whats your secret ah?. Had a great time. Fellowship n stuff. N Jimmy's 'ASS' got smaller. Yes Jimmy Quah. Talking about you. Thin d. Sexy too. Sat at the restaurant for sometime. 'Tut' full. N the three 'ku wak' people told the TGi worker that it was my birthday. Told myself this time shit d liow. Cause other people kena stand on the chair n 'SING' !!!. Manakala, kena pulak. So, follow instructions. Stand on chair, angkat chilly bottle, n sing. So fine. sang my favorite. 1,2,3... Sha la la la la, sha la la in the morning. Well, you know the rest. Hehex. Later, head on to e-Gate. Had some cool drinks. Wonderful... Better not say what lo. Overall, was the best birthday. Thanks Dear, Denise n Jimmy. I enjoyed it... Next, Denise's birthday. Your turn to get it. Thanks to everyone that wished me too. I totally appreciate your friendship. Friends 4ever !!!...

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4 the video at the bottom, it's a little slow for the picture part. But jz listen to the sound. Marvelous...

Watch watch...