Tuesday, 3 March 2009
It is so different now!
Today, we went to collect her ashes after the cremation. All is left of her is now just plain memories. Even her skull has been fragmented into pieces and now, her physical body is merely like dust in the urn. Sunday was her funeral, I thought I would not cry but when we walked past the bank and the coffee shop we used to go, I cried. When we passed the lane we used to take to the coffee shop, I can't help but recall the time I used to shade her with the umbrella and joke with her. Those days before the funeral, I buried myself with the works that needed to be done. I ran round with dear making sure all of the aunts have food to eat, I managed the cash box and fetching Ken or other people to places. To me, she is still there though her voice is no longer audible. When I want to see her, I will call for my dear to go with me and look into the coffin. She still looks the same like those times she was sleeping, but minus the snoring. After that Sunday, that was it. No more Yee Yee around.
Yesterday, we went back to her house. The moment I stepped into the house, I no longer see her lying on her chair. No more greetings or questions like have we eaten? or where have we been?. When we ate our dinner, no one comes into the dining room asking us what are we eating or anyone that will eat with us. The home has the touch. She was the matriach that will ensure that we have dinner when we are there. Now since she is no longer there, no more home-cooked food as the old folks need the much required rest. Besides that, we all have to save $$$ to make sure that the big house is well kept and maintained. Before she left, she said that to maintain the family is hard what more the home. No one understood that until today.
She is definitely a tough woman. When she was in pain, nothing was uttered til the darker days drew by. She did not work but she managed to sustain the home til today. Well, I really miss her.